Clarity

Have you ever had a moment where everything is in total chaos and yet you can see perfectly clear in front of you? Well today I felt it. I was walking back from the gym with my thoughts going a million miles an hour. Listening to my ipod, a song came on, What's a Boy to Do by Mat Kearney. It was at that moment that all of my emotions came flooding through me...happiness, sadness, loneliness, comfort, love, loss, tiredness but mostly clarity. It is incredible that music can have that power of us and I love it! Take a listen and enjoy.

I actually don't think the meaning of the song has anything to do with what I was feeling...lol.

Aging

So I have been pondering my emotions and frankly just the way I am in relationships...trying to get to the root of the problem I am having as a single adult. Yep, I said it, adult...somehow I don't know where the years have gone ;)

I have been brought up to be independent and self sufficient. Which I am proud that I am able to work hard for all that I do and get in life. But with this comes age and MORE independence. As I have yet to find my prince charming I am alone in this endeavour. Now I am starting to recognize a problem. I enjoy people! I love getting to know someone and seeing what makes a person the way they are. I enjoy finding differences and hearing life experiences that help me grow. The problem arises, that as much as I enjoy being around my best friends, the people who make my life so much better...I like to be alone. I need my own space and my own time.

I have found this hard for some people to understand and I am starting to see that I may be too independent. I might push people away because I need this alone time.

Yet we are expected to work full time, go to school full time and work, plus... do service, go to all the activities that are put on for the 'young' single adults, date, study, etc. I love staying busy and doing all of these things. So the remaining moments (if you can even call them that) of my day are wanting to just sit in my room and read, discover photo projects to work on, but basically to just be by myself sorting through my mind.


Aging is a hard thing to do alone and yet I wonder if it is easier to do with someone by your side? I guess that is the question I need to figure out...

I could do Sydney

Give me a city where there is parks, cafes, shopping and Mexican food...I could do it. Seriously, though Sydney was great. I really enjoyed my short little taste of it. The people were friendly and helpful (although I only think I heard about 2 people speak with an Australian accent?) Wicked was, well wicked! Shopping was pretty grand. But most importantly they had delicious, cheap Mexican food. It was just what I needed! I little slice of spice in every bit...mmmmmm.

Taken from the ferry to the Zoo. Sydney, Australia.

The Opera House.

My bf.

Cute little koala <3

What would a place be, if it didn't have delicious gelato!

Saving the best for last, 2 delicious chicken tacos. In corn tortillas, corn salsa and med salsa, black beans, cheese and lettuce. Mmmmmmmm....need I say more!

Auckland City at night

What a beautiful city. This shot is taken from the North Shore, across the bridge. I work in the city and ride the bus across the bridge every day. Some things I will miss....

Almost there...

So I have updated some of my most recent adventures. But not really any of my thoughts or feelings...so let me give you a run down.

I love my life. I have done and seen so many things around the world. I have met people all around who have changed my life. So the question looming in my mind is what is my next step?

When we are young, you think 'oh I will graduate, get married, get a job, live ____, start a family, etc.' Now it seems that I have done all of the steps to get there, but have not reached that point of knowing the final answer. Granted, every move I have made I have felt good about and I know that I have learned or experience (at least part of) what I was suppose to. But since moving to New Zealand, I have felt a big weight as to my next move? That this next one is an important one? So I have been researching, studying, praying so that I make the right move.

I think I am almost there...

It's been a while...

Okay so I have been throwing myself into life in New Zealand and obviously so much so, that I have forgotten to blog about any of the adventures. I am going to include in this post a few of the memories and adventures that I have had so far...

After the dance we went and walked down Queen Street as super heroes and we found more heroes on the street!

Clinton flying

Super hero dance...I of course was Captain Underpants!

I want this one day...

on the route home: Crystal, Clinton, Aden and John

Our campsite - we got these vans and then had to try and keep out of the rain (didn't help and just created a wind tunnel) The weekend was spent mostly in the vans, in the kitchen or getting sick in the rain ;)

I love this guy.

On our way to stay the weekend in the Coromandel, we made a stop at the Thames markets :)

There was a dance with the theme 'yellow' in Hamilton (about 2 hours away) so a bunch of us, packed up and went down in all of our yellow!

Some Saturday's I just like to go to the beach and take photos. This is Rangitoto again.

Weekend in Christchurch

just on the drive, look at the color of this beautiful water!

Hanmer Springs - we drove here and went to the hot polls, such a cute little resort town.

When driving to most of the coasts you have to drive through the beautiful country sides like this.

from the coast line in Kaikoura

Searching for paua shells

Beach in Kaikoura

Spice Girls

Marketing for STA Travel

At the markets in Rotorua

This is where we stayed in Rotorua, haha and there was a geiser right in front of us...stinky!

Rotorua

Boiling Hot

stopping for ice-cream on the way home from the temple

Hamilton New Zealand Temple

Sara Walk and I

Taken from Takapuna beach, Rangitoto (this beach is 5 min walk from where I live)

Lantern Festival was amazing!

The pond scene

The lantern festival: Scott, me, David and Jessica

The Ocean.

Now, I want you to assume that falling in love to me, is the ocean. I love the ocean more than anything in the world. I am happiest when I am near or gliding through the waves. The wind is exciting creating the most glorious shapes through the sand. Every shell that washes on shore is unique and different from the other and makes it beautifully caotic. There is no other place in the world that I would rather be...and yet the water is terrifying. The strength it has to pull you under its deep and shallow waters, to slam you against its solid ground. The waves that appear to be soft cotton sliding down a hill can actually pin you against the earth. Depending on the rip tide and how many there are, it can pull you in any and every direction it wants. It hears no sound but its own when you are in it.

How can something so marvelously beautiful take your breath away...for good or bad?

L.O.V.E.