So I have been pondering my emotions and frankly just the way I am in relationships...trying to get to the root of the problem I am having as a single adult. Yep, I said it, adult...somehow I don't know where the years have gone ;)
I have been brought up to be independent and self sufficient. Which I am proud that I am able to work hard for all that I do and get in life. But with this comes age and MORE independence. As I have yet to find my prince charming I am alone in this endeavour. Now I am starting to recognize a problem. I enjoy people! I love getting to know someone and seeing what makes a person the way they are. I enjoy finding differences and hearing life experiences that help me grow. The problem arises, that as much as I enjoy being around my best friends, the people who make my life so much better...I like to be alone. I need my own space and my own time.
I have found this hard for some people to understand and I am starting to see that I may be too independent. I might push people away because I need this alone time.
Yet we are expected to work full time, go to school full time and work, plus... do service, go to all the activities that are put on for the 'young' single adults, date, study, etc. I love staying busy and doing all of these things. So the remaining moments (if you can even call them that) of my day are wanting to just sit in my room and read, discover photo projects to work on, but basically to just be by myself sorting through my mind.
Aging is a hard thing to do alone and yet I wonder if it is easier to do with someone by your side? I guess that is the question I need to figure out...
2 comments:
i love that you snag sneaky shots of fragiles. ;) Bryn, recognition is the first step! ;) ha. 2011... this is your year!
Good insights Bryn. I think that aging is tough no matter what situation your in. I find that I am struggling because I am married without children. I feel like my time is running out and that eveyone around me is moving on with their families and I am being left behind. Sometimes this feels very lonely for me because Kevin doesnt feel the same way. He is excited for our family, but isnt feeling the same pressure about it as I am. He is feeling the pressure more to get his career stared and get through school and find what he wants to do in life. So our two different roles put different pressures on us as we are approaching our 30's. So I can understand what your feeling, and I think that it isnt any easier or harder if you had found your prince charming. It's just different. We will all figure it out in the end. My Mom tells me that life gets better the older you get, so I am counting on that!
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